Duggu on School, Girls and Friday Evenings!

Q : All set for success... have you ever had to deal with failure?

There haven't been any major failures so far. But I don't forget. I keep it within me. I don't 'don't give a damn'. If I have failed in something, the next time I make sure I achieve success. As a child, I used to get a lot of red marks on my report card. It used to scare the shit out of me to come back home and show it to my mom and dad. But in the exams that mattered, the ICSE Board exams, the HSSC, I managed more than a first class. I kept on improving all the time.

Q : Then why did you hate school?

School was a major pressure. Every Sunday night I was tormented because Monday meant school. I loved Friday evenings. I hated school because I didn't get to spend time the way I wanted to. To spend eight hours at school, then come home and go for tuitions... it annoyed me. I wanted to spend time with myself, or the computer, go cycling with friends, watch movies, play games, or do sports. I think I missed the right balance between work and play. My school curriculum was choc-a-bloc. College was the other way around. I was left on my own, so I studied when I had to. I never cheated or copied, ever. There were no pressures, so I ended up doing well.

Q : so do you hate pressures in real life?

I've to be in control of what I'm doing. If somebody tries to control me or put pressure on me, I can't do it. I've to be doing what I want to do at a particular time. No one can force me to do otherwise. I'm not a control freak with other people. But if something has to do with me and it's not in my control-it freaks me out.

Q : Is this obsession with being in control good?

Hrithik is the latest Bollywood star son to debut in dad's launch vehicle, Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai. But wait, not only is he totally different from other star sons, he's a contrary cauldron of emotions, simultaneously candid and closed-up, vulnerable yet stubborn, forthright and funny. Scratch the calm and you get a young man plagued by common self-doubts and a hunger for success... the kind of guy who will add dimensions of reality, angst, self-doubt and human fallibility to the archetypal glamour and gloss of the Hindi film hero... 

Probably it's a bit too much. It keeps me preoccupied so much, I don't have time to relax or take a deep breath and enjoy what I'm doing at the moment. I'm all over the place getting hyper and tense and wired up. I guess I'll relax a bit once things get settled down as far as my career is concerned. Right now, I'm on the threshold of a new beginning in films, so I worry a lot more. But once that first impression is made, when I'm accepted as an actor, I'll just cut loose.

Q : how do you focus if you are so hyper?

With everything I'm doing that concerns me, I'm completely in focus. It's my work, after all, and I can't afford to let my concentration slip. I keep thinking I'm doing too little...

Q : what were you like as a teenager?

I was gawky, thin, very shy and quiet. (Laughs!) My entire school and college life-I've never been the outgoing sort. I've done outrageous things sometimes for the experience of it, maybe. Like, bunked school once because all those guys who bunked were looked on special-like by the other kids and got a lot of importance. I've had to change over physically and mentally to face the camera. I had to express myself better, meet people with whom I was working with ease, socialise a bit too.